Reflection Wednesday

Raining, writing, cup of tea, kind of day.

There’s something lovely about putting on my hipster glasses, making a big cup of green tea with my favorite Cinnabon creamer, putting on an oversized sweater, and then sitting down to my writing desk and pouring all of my thoughts into the keyboard.

It’s something that has always been so perfect for me. Today I feel dreamy and thoughtful. I’m thinking of pumpkin patches, fall scented candles, long walks in the forest when all of the leaves are changing and taking my camera on my little journey. It’s raining and completely dreary and honestly the perfect writing weather.

Something about the rain and thunderstorms have always brought out the emotional, creative part in me. Like there’s more soul in the air. Anxiety has held me back from so many opportunities because I was too afraid I would die, get sick, or fail. I often think what I would do if I didn’t have anxiety. It’s constantly screaming at you, making the smallest things into mountains, and it makes you feel like everything is scary.

I could probably list about 20 to 30 things I do or don’t do because of my anxiety. Wash my hands several times a day, go running at only certain times, don’t wear or say what I want or be who I want because of the fear of others hating it. To be honest, I don’t have friends. I don’t meet many people because of my anxiety and I often have difficulty relating to or talking to other people.

Hence, the blog.

I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to create some connections, relate to other people with mental illness, and maybe forge a career in writing. It’s always been a passion. It makes me feel like I can get what I want to say out because I often mind my emotions are all over the place, it helps me organize and visualize how I feel and what I want. This has just been a little reflection and a little about my thoughts on this rainy wednesday. Have a great day ☔️

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