So okay, here we go. Another blog I am pretty nervous to post. Takes big breath…and publish!
I am sick of who I am. I have been very depressed, dysfunctional, anxious, unmotivated, and honestly incredibly unhappy for a while.
Great, I’m unhappy. Now what.
I have tried to lose weight in the past and I have tried to be healthy but it never seems to stick. Now, I’m not saying I’m an overweight person or necessarily an unhealthy person but I am an insecure person.
So, I had this idea this morning that maybe I could write my weightloss and get healthy journey on my blog. It gives me a reason to stick with it and also maybe some support. I think it’s the fact that I don’t think I can do this, that I never try or give up too easily. I think my life overall would improve with creating a healthy lifestyle.
I used to be an athletic person in high school, but after college I gained about 30 pounds from depression and anxiety. I managed to take about 20 pounds off but I never really got back into fitness or really got that confidence back. I actually developed an eating disorder over the stress of trying to take it off.
Running was such a big part of my life, I ran track, cross country, would even run and exercise on weekends. For a while I was healthy and when I think about it used to be a great outlet for me. My anxiety was much more under control. So this isn’t necessarily just about weight loss because it’s not. This is for my happiness and my courage. My mental health and my confidence.
It’s about me and maybe with a little support and actually writing it down I can stick with it. I will admit I am insecure and unhappy. I believe that changing my diet and fitness regime is not only good for my body but for my mind.
A little TMI coming up here. I have health issues involving my IBS so a lot of frequent constipation and bloating. I also can admit that I am very insecure in the bedroom. I usually have to be a little tipsy in order to relax. I don’t really see myself as sexy or beautiful. I feel like I’m missing out on happiness, a great relationship, and my own life. That’s what I mean when I say it’s not losing weight for vanity but for my sanity.
I believe that many of these issues can be resolved with a much healthier diet and more exercise. I don’t want to waste my life thinking next week for sure, next month I’ll start, next year…
Things won’t change unless I do and I actually hate sayings like that because it always feels like so cliche. But, it is actually true. I think that dropping about ten pounds, toning up, and eating well will improve almost everything about myself. Confidence to try new things, wear that dress hiding in the back of my closet, reduce my anxiety, and give me less social anxiety just knowing I feel great.
I’m thinking to document my progress what I’m eating, my exercises and writing down how my mental health is too. It gives it a story not just another internal struggle.
So hopefully this is a new chapter and a new blog journey for me. Wish me luck!🍀🍀🌷