Outcast

I wanted to share this fleeting thought with you.

I wonder if one person could really change the world.

Sometimes the amount of pain, hurt, and destruction that is in the world hurts my soul. Anger and chaos, selfishness and hate, can be so loud in this world and things like love, compassion, happiness can be so small and rare.

When did it get this way? Can we live in a world that has tendencies to be so painful? I wish so much that just one person could change everything because I would. I would want everyone to be more selfless, understanding, and united because life itself is so powerful and also so fragile sometimes its a shame that we can’t spend our time on earth with happiness.

We’re always rushing, always frustrated, always stressed. I wonder if it’s really me that has anxiety and depression or has the world just set it up for people to become afraid, sad, and helpless.

Hate can be a powerful thing but so can love. We ask the wrong questions and make too quick of judgments, we have continually low expectations. I have been told I have too high expectations of people maybe it’s because I was held to high ones growing up and I just think that everyone sees things how I do. But that’s not the case. I have become distant and afraid.

My anxiety is frequently caused from fear of confrontation with a family member or being uncomfortable in public. I wish that everything felt less rushed. Everything feels like a finish line and for what? Am I happy? Are most people happy and I’m out of the loop?

I frequently feel like an oddball, weird, the outcast, the one from another planet.

But maybe that’s not always a bad thing.

Maybe it’s because I am on a different path that makes me different.

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