Remember life? Remember how sometimes things happen unexpectedly? This seems to be happening quite a bit lately. To be honest with you I’m actually pretty nervous and embarrassed to write this post, but I have always tried my best to be honest about myself and my anxiety. I could have written this post sooner, but for the first time I struggled with putting myself and my story out there.
Last week I got a call around 6:30 in the morning from my Mom. She told me that my sister was in the hospital and was having her appendix out. I immediately started thinking about anything I could do to help. I was told to just be there and just come be company for her. When I got to the hospital I rushed down the hallway counting the room numbers as I went by and when I reached her room I opened the door. My Mom saw me first and looked to my sister and told her “Laura’s here.” I felt that instant big sister role. I smiled at my sister and sat with her as she fell in and out sleep.
For about five days, I would wake up, get coffee, get ready and get out the door to the hospital. I knew the run was in the back of my head and that I should be training but some things are forced on the back burner. My Sister began having a bad reaction to the medications she was getting and she wasn’t bouncing back as quickly as they would have wanted. I did everything I could to be anything anyone needed. A big sister, just someone to vent to, someone to check on the pets, someone to get blankets or coffee or lunch.
My parents have been divorced for about 20 years now and it’s always a little tense for them in the same room. I tried to be a good buffer. My Dad would vent to me while my sister got her second cat scan, I would get the sheets changed, my Mom was frustrated at the nurses, and my sister was just very uncomfortable and in pain. It was a stressful, tense, and exhausting week for everyone.
I missed the run. Exhaustion, getting my sister home and comfortable, bringing her little Yorkie back to her who had stayed with me for this week. I just didn’t have the time or energy for this 5K. I am embarrassed because I have been writing about it and working on being a more confident person but life and family just came first. I don’t feel upset about missing the run. I just feel more embarrassed.