Words

Another day. Another day and I feel like I’m wasting away. Another day to make you believe I’m okay. Another day to fake that smile, hide those tears, and give you what you want. I’m tired because I’m always awake. I am weak in my mind. Depression comes back to haunt me. The same black slime I can feel running through my veins. I don’t smile. I don’t laugh. I cannot show love. I just feel tears. The sludge. The same empty dark hole I’ve become accustomed to. I wish he would hold me. I wish I was alone. I don’t want to put on this show of being smiles and starry eyes just so that no one can see that I wish my life had turned out better. I wish my words didn’t sound so forced. Everything is stupid. Everything is overwhelming. I have no peace in the war on myself. The perpetual fight that I am no longer able to keep myself stable. Today I will get up and get dressed and have my coffee because everything is routine. But, I’m not fine. Another morning comes to light but my mind is still in darkness. Another day has is coming to a close. These words have been written. My own life is closing in on me and I have no more will left to fight.

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