Writing is my life boat. In a world of depression and severe anxiety, working in a job I know I could never be extroverted enough for. Sometimes it feels like drowning. Waking up every day knowing I am not doing something that makes me happy. Writing, it breaks this cycle and gives me the space […]
I feel both invisible and on display. I’m always somewhere between, someone notice me, notice that I’m not okay. And, please don’t look at me, don’t see me. There’s nothing you can do. Just let me be.
Anxiety to the outside means racing thoughts. Their not racing, their forcing themselves into my head, maybe me think I’m going crazy. No, no, running my hands over my face and through my hair, I’m not crazy, I’m not crazy. It’s an attack. It’ll pass. I look back at the mirror barely noticing I’m there […]
“How are you doing?” “How are you feeling these days?” Burning questions that leave a hole making me feel like there’s two sides of me. The “How are you?” and the “So…how are you, how ya feeling?” Your asking me how I am and how my anxiety is doing. Believe it or not I’m not […]
I wanted to share this fleeting thought with you. I wonder if one person could really change the world. Sometimes the amount of pain, hurt, and destruction that is in the world hurts my soul. Anger and chaos, selfishness and hate, can be so loud in this world and things like love, compassion, happiness can […]
My Dad last week. “When you were a little girl, you were so dainty and frail and sensitive, I thought the world was going to eat you alive and in a way I was right.” Yeah, we’re not close as you can imagine but that’s another day and another blog post. When there isn’t enough […]
Guilt for being me. Guilt for things that I can’t change. There’s no real me. Just who you expected me to be. Better then them. Better then the popular girls, better then the bullies, better then expectation. Now I’m someone living a life full of expectation, guilt, and pain. I couldn’t make you happy. I […]
Me. That’s me. In the mirror. But, I’m not me. I’m not anything. Everything is wrong. Upside down. Unreal. There is no me. There’s nothing more frightening than looking in the mirror and not being able to recognize who’s looking back.
Even Naruto has panic attacks. The strong can break for even a moment and the weak can change. I feel stronger knowing that Naruto Uzumaki can hyperventilate and have a panic attack and faint. It gives me a reason to believe that my fainting spell could have been from having to be too strong for […]
Girls that are bullied, become insecure women.